At a time when nearly all of us are scrambling for
opportunities and helping others to do the same, people are in networking overdrive. Not a day goes by that I don't get a few emails from friends seeking
introductions to other friends. All that connecting carries a huge risk of mistakes and missteps. Here's just a sampling of the many ways that well-intentioned attempts at networking can go wrong, and some simple ways to do better.
1. Asking for an
introduction when you are too busy to properly follow up. We've all been there. You learn that someone you know knows someone you want to know and you are champing at the bit. You shoot off an email without much
deliberation, the person replies promptly (since you have a mutual contact), and because you're completely swamped, you find it impossible to make time to meet.
Solution: Next time you learn that one of your contacts knows someone you want to know, file that information away and tell your friend you might ask for an intro when you're less busy.
2. Sending a too-long email that asks no question. As an networking novice, this is a species I know all too well. These emails usually contain some variation of "can you help?" as the header. The body of the email rambles on, hinting at some need, but never quite
articulating a question. My first instinct is to delete these emails, and if they come from a stranger, that is often what I do (encouraging dialogue with ramblers can only lead to no good.) If I can see the bones of a question beneath the layers of fat (or if the sender is a friend of someone I know), I try to figure out what the person is looking for and answer the question I think is being asked.
Solution: When asking someone for advice, for an
informational interview or for any other help by email, write a succinct note and be clear about what you are asking for.
3. Making
introductions on behalf of people you can't vouch for. We all want to help people find new
opportunities, but it can be damaging to your
relationships and reputation to recommend people when you can't vouch for them.
LinkedIn, which has automated the process of making
introductions through mutual contacts, has made this problem more prevalent.
Solution: Next time a friend asks you to make an
introduction on behalf of someone you don't know, instead of blindly
recommending the person, ask your friend if he or she can provide a rave review. If the answer is yes, then you can tell your contact that while you don't have firsthand knowledge, someone you respect has given the person a strong review. If the answer is no, then your friend will certainly understand if you decline to make the
introduction.
4. Making incorrect assumptions. This rule gets violated in many ways, but the most common is when you assume that you know what someone else wants -- in a job search, in building a business, in adding people to a network -- so you take some action designed to help without checking first to see if your efforts would be appreciated. Meddling relatives are experts at this.
Solution: Next time you have a brilliant idea for someone
else's business, job search, or networking, ask first before you take any steps to help.
5. Using a social network without knowing how it works. Lots of attention has been paid to young people behaving badly on social networks. But what about
middle-aged folks who join
Facebook and don't realize that a wall posting is not a private message or that it is common courtesy on Twitter to acknowledge someone when you "
retweet" one of their messages.
Solution: When you join a new social network, read up or watch an online tutorial on how it works and be an observer for a little while before diving in. If you make a misstep even when you know the rules, find an appropriate way to
acknowledge your error.
6. Failing to properly follow up. If someone takes the time to help you in any way -- giving an
informational interview, making an
introduction, reviewing your resume, sending you a new client -- remember to follow up and give proper thanks. In most cases, a quick email, hand-written note or call will suffice. But what if you feel greater thanks are in order?
Solution: Send an
Amazon gift card -- it's something practically anyone would appreciate and you can order it and have it delivered by email with a few clicks of the mouse. If you're strapped for cash, consider
recommending the person on LinkedIn (assuming you're both on
LinkedIn, and who isn't these days?)
7. Sending unwieldy attachments or too many samples of your work. If you're asking someone for advice and including samples of your work, make it as easy as possible for the person to review those samples. Rather than including attachments, which can be burdensome to open, try to include links to URLs. Free services like
LinkedIn or
VisualCV allow you to create an online version of your resume that includes a URL that you can selectively share. (I believe these
new age resumes will soon completely replace the old-fashioned paper variety.) If you have a portfolio, set up a simple website to showcase your work.
Do you have any pet networking peeves -- and suggestions for how to avoid them? If so, please share in the comments.
